The One-Armed Lesbian Dwarf Thrower
A surreal, satirical dialogue between Mary Magdala and Jesus, blending divine regret, foot rubs, and absurd confessions. This biblical parody rewrites the gospels with punchlines, paradoxes, and sandal-centric theology.
[Mary Magdala and Jesus the Nazarene sit under a tree, sharing a joint]
What was with that quip you gave to Judas, about the poor?
What quip?
You know, “the poor you have with you always”.
Hmm? Good god! Did I say that?
Yep?
Holy great grandmother’s chest hair? I’m screwed!
What!?!
I’ve just circumvented my main agenda! Why oh why are you so good with feet?
You’ve lost me.
That foot rub beguiled me. My whole body was in heaven!
I am well glad, yet still confused.
Ahh bugger it! You’re a giver, they are all takers. God knows what a mess they will make of it.
Wha?
You like Judas. I can tell.
I used to. Not anymore.
You should. He’s wiser than you think.
I don’t trust him.
Trust! Bah humbug! Hey, did you hear the one about the one-armed lesbian dwarf thrower?
What?
He was gay.
Harry is a satirist in remission who now moonlights as a metaphysical desk jockey. He specialises in cosmic admin, recursive nonsense, and the occasional algorithmic incident report. One poem he wrote still hasn’t stopped, and several readers claim it whispers back during thunderstorms.
Knock knock (knocking on heaven’s door)
Diary of a Sentient Jukebox
This one’s bold, irreverent, and layered with religious satire, gender play, and surreal dialogue. It’s provocative in tone and rich in character-driven absurdity.