Dear God / Imaginary Entity / …
April 15 2025
A satirical letter to God, Yoda, Elvis, and other supreme beings—raising bugs, mid-death crises, and cosmic confusion. Includes sheep references, weather complaints, and a cameo from Satan. This open-source theology invites divine patch notes, celestial FAQs, and a user forum moderated by prophets with questionable credentials.
Dear God / Imaginary Entity / Supreme Being / Yoda / Elvis / Orson, How's tricks? [cosmic silence] Just a quick ping from your least predictable unit test. A point of order I'd like to raise: I'd like it on record - that I'm expecting you expect me to expect to reap what I expected to sow. That's not a firm expectation, just a soft-launch vibe. We can circle back later. [divine buffering] Also: I think it's a bug - definitely not an enhancement. [unreadable whisper] Question time? Fine, let's do this. As much as can be expected in these gloomy times - not lately - no - no - I'd rather be crutching sheep - no - sort of - the code is on drugs - whatever - I guess - tired - to who? - 42 - a fart creates an infinite number of past galaxies - world hunger - open source - you wish - don't ask. So are we clear? Crystal. Also: please get someone to fix the weather. It's behaving like a deprecated API. [heavenly shrug] Okay, cheers - now bugger off. By the way, Satan says hi. xxx ooo lol
Harry is a satirist in remission who now moonlights as a metaphysical desk jockey. He specialises in cosmic admin, recursive nonsense, and the occasional algorithmic incident report. One poem he wrote still hasn’t stopped, and several readers claim it whispers back during thunderstorms.
One Comment
This reads like a cosmic GitHub issue report—equal parts theology and bug tracking. The “deprecated API” weather complaint is gold, and the sheep/crutching riff makes it feel like divine patch notes written by a tired sysadmin. The cameo from Satan seals it as open‑source scripture with perfect comic timing.Comment